Travel Guides: All Countries / Europe / Spain / Balearic Islands / Ibiza
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| | | | Review by Mary Poulton from London
Ibiza is quiet or busy - whatever you want to make it. The clubs are great and day time clubbing is fun, but you can completely avoid that scene and have a relaxing beach holiday with no intrusions. The beaches are fabulous and the food, beer and wine are great.
Review by Michael Benis from Brighton
Ibiza is a teeny island (just 30 miles round) and can be very hectic around the big clubs, touristy on some of the big resorts and surprisingly laid back in other places. Despite the commercialisation you can still find the old hippy vibe. Also very relaxinb because it's an anything goes place. It's expensive though, both to rent and for dining and shopping.
Review by chris badham from Rugby
Ibiza is a island much maligned by thoughts of raves and party people causing noise and trouble.Nothing could be further from the truth.Yes it has its lively nightlife but 95% of the island is beautiful and relaxed and friendly.Safe for familys and couples alike.
Review by tina thompson from wokingham
we have been coming to ibiza for ten years now as we own a time share at santa eulalia which has to be the best resort on the island ibiza is not all about clubbing and has some of the best unspoilt beaches we have seen
Review by Nicky Midgley from Leeds
Whilst Ibiza is renowned as the party island,dont be put off if you are a family wanting a relaxing holiday, as there are also many quiet resorts in ibiza which are family orientated. My favourite is santa eulalia - which has excellent beaches plus a lovely marina with fabulous restaurants.
Spend that lottery win
This is a lovely quiet town for families and couples. There are two nice beaches and a busy marina area.
The town is a mix of old and new with some interesting little shops and bars. The only river in the Balearics runs here and there is a nice walkway with a children's play area by the side of the river - feeding the ducks is fun!
Take the "train" into the hills for a fun but educational trip.
Easy access to the rest of the island by local bus and boat. An evening stroll along the marina is a great way to work up an appetite - and think how you would spend that lottery win!
Travel Guide: Ibiza
Party town
Back to earth now....what a place to go if partying till dawn is your thing....people all very friendly although I suggest that families stay away from San Antonio due to 24 hour music culture.......lack of zzzzz.
Travel Guide: Ibiza
The man from the Ministry
From the Mail on Sunday
Night-clubbing is a risky business. You spend years hunting the 'it' place of 'now', only to find afterwards that you paid a fortune getting into 'that' dump of 'then'.
So what good news for clubbers to hear that the disco organisation Ministry of Sound has tracked down the elusive 'it', fortuitously to a hotel it owns.
Ministry has opened the Bahia in San Antonio, Ibiza, the first 'clubbers' hotel' with 'non-stop action'. I've witnessed many hotels becoming clubbers' hotels with non-stop action, but in the old days they called the police.
But now, with clubbers a market force - 1.5 million of them alone buy holidays to Ibiza each year - the Bahia could become the hotel of the future.
Already it is one of the world's first digital audio hotels with MP3 music players in every room, its own Internet radio station and more sci-fi experiments planned.
I had been expecting something that looked like a disco, with a neon bar, a light-up floor and a Japanese economics student dressed as Boy George passed out in the corner.
The Bahia looks like what it is - a converted German family hotel, more Moat House than Studio 54.
However, assuming that the vast pulling power of the Ministry does summon hordes of alarmingly dressed youngsters and the world's most overpaid disc jockeys to parties at its poolside bar, 'it' could happen here.
And if you have only to lean over your balcony to join in, that's luxury. As 'the hotel of the future', the Bahia is being used as a test site for futurist gadgets.
Travel Guide: Ibiza
Back from the rave
From the Daily Mail
The very mention of the name Ibiza is enough to raise a shudder in parents, the over-40s and anyone whose idea of a good night out is a couple of pints down their local.
In recent years, this Balearic island - formerly a laid-back Mediterranean Shangri-La - transformed itself into a finely honed machine for enticing young people into nightclubs and extracting their money.
From the vantage point of my farmhouse in the north-east of the island, where I lived during the Nineties, I watched with alarm at the rise of disco debauchery.
When I finally fled the island, it was with a feeling of relief. And yet a recent return visit has given me a wistful nostalgia for the beautiful place I left behind.
On the way from the airport, giant billboards still shriek the names of the craziest clubs and the most happening DJs.
Mass tourism is still the name of the game and over-excitable British youths continue to be drawn to Ibiza like wasps to a jam jar. But there is a feeling that the party may be nearly over.
Since I left, the island's profile has changed for the better. The new Balearic eco-tax and the events of September 11 have put the brakes on the cheap tourist industry.
As the 'dance' boom inevitably fades, the island is coming to its senses. Quiet tourism is in.
Drug-addled ravers are no longer as welcome as they were, while lovers of landscape, good food and solitary beaches are received with open arms.
A range of small rural hotels now offer a welcome alternative to the high-rise horrors of San Antonio and Playa d'en Bossa - Ibiza's riotous paella and chips resorts.
Handsome townhouses become upmarket pensions; ancient farmhouses are transformed into bijou B&Bs.
Travel Guide: Ibiza
Ibiza uncovered
'Have we got a Gareth?' It was our first evening on a Thomson's Super-Family Holiday, and although we hadn't packed the television, it was there in spirit.
And everyone was having a rip-roaring time, with juvenile would-be Wills, Gareths and even Dariuses clustered around the stage at the Hotel Presidente in the resort of Portinatx in northern Ibiza.
We had landed right in the middle of Pop Idol night - the highlight of a week's delights designed to entice the sunseekers of Britain - and the hotel was rocking.
The drinks were going down fast, brandy and Chocomilk being one of the more creative delicacies that I saw being slugged.
We'd opted for a package: the first time we had gone on holiday with our infant and the first package holiday I'd taken.
It seemed a safe option, to square the various demands of Bruno, two, his half-sister Matilda, 12, and two parents - Helen and I - who wanted an easy life.
Before children, we had gone the independent gite-and-drive route. How terribly 'traveller' we had been. Now, we needed something reassuring, comfortable and safe, all pros and (hopefully) no cons.
We were to learn that it requires a completely different attitude to the art of holidaymaking.
The first taste of things to come was a good-natured Britannia charter flight.
It was not an experience for those who don't like flying with children - there was mewling and puking - but the holidaymakers treated it like a white-knuckle ride, gasping at the views, whooping during the turbulence and cheering when it landed.
Travel Guide: Ibiza
My haven on isle of sin
From the Daily Mail
The announcement of my imminent departure to Ibiza engendered a number of responses. Most took the form of mild disdain. 'Why on earth do you want to go there? It's supposed to be awful.' Others cracked lame jokes about 'doing' drugs and dancing the night away in a trawl of the clubs that have made this island so notorious.
Hardly the sort of thing for a respectable 34-year-old with three children under seven. Only one person gave me encouragement - a friend who had lived on Ibiza for two years and for whom the very mention of the place conjured the fondest memories. She assured me that, for family holiday, her island would not let us down. And it didn't. In fact, I now have a six-year-old son whose vision of heaven on earth is a small beach on the rugged north-east coast of Ibiza.
For all its sins, Ibiza has countless saving graces. On the one hand, there's the tackiness of mass-market tourism - crude architectural 'holiday' developments, mile on mile of inflatable crocodiles and sleazy bars posing as Ye Olde English Pub. On the other hand, there is a gloriously serrated coastline, punctuated by small, generally sandy coves, and there is inland Ibiza - quite mountainous, yet with swathes of fertile, deep red soil, and pretty rural villages like Santa Gertrudis and San Carlos.
Our personal saving grace came in the form of 15 flower-filled acres, at the centre of which stood an elegantly rambling country house, known to most as Can Lluqui but, to my fickle children, quite simply as 'home'.
We had taken the villa option for a number of reasons, primarily for space and privacy. I was tired of worrying whether noisy children were ruining someone else's holiday and loath to spend another week with one, if not all, of them in my bedroom. How many times, too, have I ordered costly children's meals, only to see them shunted away, untouched?
Supermarket shopping in Europe is infinitely more exciting than a trip to your local Sainsbury's and it is by far the cheapest way to keep your children adequately fed and watered. In Ibiza, the main supermarket is so technologically advanced that you can pay for your shopping in your own national currency, and even in those strange things called euros.
'Home' was larger than we needed - parts of the garden remained undiscovered and we never quite got to grips with the outdoor bar or barbecue. But the hammock, slung beneath a natural canopy of bougainvillea and hibiscus, and the swimming pool became the focus of our attentions. Our days fell into a fixed pattern of mornings at 'home' by the pool, and afternoons on the beach - a different one each day, of course.
And therein we discovered that the real joy of Ibiza is its size - no journey took longer than 45 minutes in the car. In the south-west of the island, not far from 'home', we enjoyed our afternoon at Cala Vadella, regretted our trip to the overcrowded Cala Tarida and were delighted by, though not entranced with, Cala d'Horte - hailed incorrectly, in my view, as the loveliest beach on Ibiza.
My advice is to head north, where the landscape mutates from parched, rocky insignificance to sensuous, pine-clad loveliness. The drive to the picturesque cove at Cala Xaracca gave us our first taste of northern pleasures and although the beach was stony there were shells aplenty to keep the children occupied for hours.
Travel Guide: Ibiza
Fantastic family fun
Our apartments in Playa d'en Bossa were fantastic value for money - the location for the family perfect, set right on the beach. Lots of activities for the kids and adults alike - beach volley ball, jet skis etc. Lovely clean pools and, although within close location to the shops and bars, it wasn't noisy at night. The small town has lots going on at night, fun bars for the kids - street artists and spray painters like you've never seen before.
Hair braiding and local jewellery are also on offer and lots of very reasonable restaurants - my firm favourite is La Paloma, who do fantastic breakfasts and meals. On our last evening we went the full hog and had starters, mains and huge ice creams with sparklers - the lot for my family of five came to about £50 with drinks, free lollies and vodka liqueurs. I would fully recommend the location to anyone looking for a good-value holiday with children in mind.
Travel Guide: Ibiza
A very pretty bay
It is a very beautiful resort. We stayed at the El Pinar apartments and I can't think of anywhere else on the island that you could get a better view of a very pretty bay.
There are enough bars and restaurants to cater for most people.
We have been to Ibiza about 10 times now and still think it's as good as anywhere to go.
Travel Guide: Ibiza
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| | | | More than piped muzak
Affable IT boss Nick was pale after spending months in the hotel's control room operating on the heart of the beast, a Rio Digital Audio mothership computer. It feeds clubbers' music into the MP3 players in each room. I think.
I tried to impress Nick by talking about 'burning' music via computer, but only embarrassed myself; I was hopelessly dated and should have been 'ripping' years ago. I stopped the conversation before someone told me Eminem didn't live in my radio.
Nick has extraordinary plans for holidaymakers. If futuristic gadgets at Bahia are well received, hotels may one day offer Nick's 'web pads' with your room key and palm-sized digital TVs that can download movies to watch by the pool. You could even survey footage live from clubs and restaurants, so you can inspect the evening beforehand to avoid recriminations.
It isn't like you have to be there any more. Nick says: 'The music from parties can be ripped on to your Nike MP3 player and taken to the beach the next day.'
Walking into the rooms themselves I felt pangs of nostalgia. I would have given anything to have stayed in a place like this when I was a junior raver.
There was no football graffiti in the wardrobe, the rooms were airy and spankingly clean - with the all-important kitchenette enabling you to spend the last two days living off economy spaghetti in air sauce. There wasn't even a fat man nobody knew locked in the bathroom.
By the bed my MP3 looked like a fancy hi-fi and summoned the Ministry back catalogue, very loudly. I promptly tried to unscrew it from the wall only to discover that, as it was actually connected to the mothership, it didn't have a single CD in it and I had to screw it back in.
Unfortunately, short of being a drug dealer's moll, I couldn't have afforded the Bahia. During the clubbing season, these suites are £364 - £484 per person per week self-catering, and you're being asked to share 4-6 with one bathroom.
Fine, if you've given up bathing along with food, but clubbing sends you home with hair like bunches of damp Marlboros. And £484 is a lot to sleep on a sofabed.
Admittedly, Ibiza will always be expensive unless you are a fabulous-looking 18-year-old girl convinced that an elderly tycoon's wife does not understand him (when she invariably understands him rather well).
But traditional package holidays do it cheaper. So will the atmosphere of 'it' make Bahia worth the money?
The fashion factor
The fashion factor has had a lot to do with it. In Spain, the island is now seen as a glamour location to rival Marbella and the Riviera, and it heaves with local stars.
When Jade Jagger moved to the island in the late Nineties, she was a pioneer among the British fashion crowd that later included Kate Moss, Elle Macpherson, and designer Matthew Williamson.
At first she spent her nights in Privilege and her mornings in Space, two trendy local nightclubs.
Four years later, disco culture isn't quite so cool, and she now prefers the more discreet pleasures of dinner with friends, walks in the woods and lazy days on some secret beach where the tourists don't go and Dolce and Gabbana sarongs are de rigueur.
Jade's new 12-bedroom hotel - still nameless, though it is scheduled to open some time this year - sounds like a fine example of the new chilled-out mood on the island.
An Ibiza friend informs me that Miss Jagger 'doesn't want to attract the party crowd - she's tired of all that - but the quieter types who are into the real Ibiza: the people, the lovely countryside, the secluded beaches'.
As one of those 'quieter types', I know what she is talking about.
On my last visit I stayed at Can Marti, a farmhouse among the pine-wooded hills in the north of the island, where the Swiss owners sell their organic produce at the farm gate.
I went to bed after a barbecue supper and woke at dawn as the cock crows echoed in the silence of the valley.
Away from the traffic-clogged major roads, Ibiza was a haven of peace and quiet. I cruised around country lanes, twisting among a landscape of olive groves and almond orchards.
Despite all the ravages of tourism, the island is still amazingly unspoilt.
In the shade of an ancient olive tree, a lady in a long black dress and a wide-brimmed straw hat was snoozing in the company of half a dozen sheep.
Drank Rioja from beakers
At the airport the reps disgorged several planeloads of punters with utter professionalism and steered us all towards numbered coaches to be driven to our various destinations.
It was one of several occasions when we felt that one could glimpse behind the curtain and see the wheels of industry turning, but Bruno loved it.
'Bus!' he yelled. Kids: they don't care whether it's the Seychelles or Scunthorpe.
At the hotel, a big white edifice overlooking the bay, we queued to get the keys to the room from the friendly Spanish staff, set off down a lengthy corridor that looked like it had starred in The Shining and located our boxy room, with a view over the car park.
It was pretty small. The four of us were in a living room-sized space, and with our different needs regarding the television and bedtimes, the atmosphere quickly grew nasty.
'I want that light off now,' snarled Matilda at about 9pm, and banished Helen and I to the small balcony, where we drank Rioja from beakers as frogs croaked in the distance.
In the morning we investigated Portinatx, setting a pattern that hardened during the week: breakfast in the canteen, then splashy fun at one of the resort's three beaches.
Portinatx was a predominantly British-patronised resort - the evidence was a bar called Del Boy's.
Lest that give the wrong impression, it was also a languid place with clean sand and ultra-marine water safe for snorkelling, swimming and sailing on a fleet of fabulous pedalos with slides on them.
Scattered around the yellow crescent beaches was an array of pizza parlours and restaurants; all serviceable, none memorable.
Some also served league football, leading to conversation among the dads on the beach towels along the lines of: 'Sven should drop Seaman from the squad.'
'Nah. Years in him yet.'
Child's paradise
But it was at Cala San Vincente that my son found his paradise. Although there were bars and hotels galore, they were all quite inoffensive for a change, and numerous families pitched along the sand. So what made it special? Perhaps it was the piercing blue sea, or the size of the waves that had us screaming in merriment. Perhaps it was the cliffs, or the view - or perhaps, simply, that it was the end of our holiday and Britain loomed.
Our days were so long that evening meanderings were kept to a minimum. Our first expedition to Eivissa town, for dinner, gave us a swift lesson in what not to do. A stroll along the harbour-front took us past endless stalls selling lacy knickers. Kama Sutra T-shirts and saucy posters for the forthcoming clubbing season were on display.
My three and one-year-olds, thankfully, showed little interest; the six-year-old's eyes were on stalks. The subsequent sight of my vast dish of paella, bristling with all forms of delectable seafood, had their appetites quashed within seconds. An expensive mistake.
Our second visit took the more sedate approach of a walk through cobbled passageways of Dalt Vila, Eivissa's medieval 'old town'. Pizzas and gazpacho, though pricey, proved a better decision.
While on a journey into town, we took a wrong turning and found ourselves at one of Ibiza's most concentrated areas of tourism -Platja d'en Bossa. As I studied the route out, the beady-eyed boy in the back spotted the towering tubular slide of Aguamar - one of Ibiza's two waterparks. Oh, the things you do for love. There were people there for whom Aguamar was clearly the raison d'etre of their holidays.
We soon gave up on the increasing length of queues and decided to go 'home', satisfied in the knowledge that the Ibiza we had discovered was a world apart from this one.
Our journey was neither speedy nor stress-free. The only direct way to the island is by charter flight. But these depart at the most inconvenient times of day or night, and are usually subject to the longest delays. With one child, I might have considered it; with three, it was out of the question.
Scheduled services require a change of plane, usually in Barcelona or, in our case, Majorca, an airport I am hard-pressed to praise. The signposting is abysmal, entailing long queues at the information desks, and the ground area so vast that passengers are required to walk for miles between departures/ arrivals halls and the planes.
We had a two-hour wait in Majorca on our way and five hours on our way back. Door to door, the journey took the best part of ten hours each way, which is crazy when you consider Ibiza is only two hours away.
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| | | | No welcome drinks
Phil, the likeable head of fun for Ministry holidays, says: 'We're not like tour companies - we don't do welcome drinks or try to sell you all-you-can-drink party passes with the coach thrown in.' That's true; they sell you no-drinks-at-all club passes with no coach thrown in.
The club pass is the same price as admission on the door, but may possibly get you into a VIP area, discounts in certain shops and your taxi fare refunded if you drink in a certain bar.
You get a discount on further club admissions, but by then you'll be exhausted and have lost your left shoe. And a free Ministry coach would be a positive advantage, helping cut down on the high number of pedestrian deaths outside clubs.
Ministry has faced criticism for cashing in on Ibiza's club scene, once a cheap, knockabout affair. I still remember the outrage when one club-owner had the front to charge a shocking £8 admission.
Now Ministry's night at the club Pacha is around £30 to get in, and drinks are, shall we say, to be nursed.
'Pacha isn't cheap. A Vodka Red Bull is £10,' admitted Ministry's PR Rhiannon, speaking of the feted clubbers' craze, a cough syrup-flavoured stimulant that 'gives you wings', though not in a useful way.
'And a bottle of wine is £9, but so worth it.' Unless it was bottled by an enormous white rabbit with a pocket watch, I doubt it.
Tired of nasty tourism
The hillsides were dotted with flat-roofed, whitewashed farmhouses, much like the house in which I lived for 10 years.
In the late Nineties, there had been almost no rain and the island was reduced to a dustbowl.
In November 2001, the drought broke, and last winter it rained more than it had done at any time in the past 30 years. I could hardly believe the difference. The fields were a lush green, speckled with spring flowers.
The Rio de Santa Eulalia (the Balearics' only river, dry since the tourist boom began) was flowing. It felt like a symbol: the real Ibiza was back.
In the village bar at Sant Vicent, where I once picked up my post in the mornings and the gossip in the evenings, I was greeted with Hispanic hugs and kisses.
The big hotel down on the beach had been revamped from a bottom-of-the-barrel dive into a pleasant, airy three-star establishment in an effort to pull in a better class of client.
At the end of the beach a great new restaurant had opened. We booked a table for lunch overlooking the sea and the island of Tagomago in the distance and ate grilled lobster caught that morning by a local fisherman. It was a far cry from paella and chips.
Pepa was born and bred in Sant Vicent and has seen the rise of tourism from the early Sixties, before which Ibiza was a paradise of almost medieval backwardness.
For a while everything went swimmingly. The island got rich and famous. Then came the problems: the lager louts, the drugs, the disco mayhem, the lid-lifting television documentaries.
'We are tired of all this nasty tourism,' Pepa told me. 'We are tired of the noise, the traffic, the drunken people.
'Ibiza is not just about these things. We want to say to people - come to look at the landscape, come to walk, to be tranquilo.'
Pepa added: 'You have seen the changes, Paul. Maybe now you will come back to live with us?'
I took another sip of my wine as a Technicolor sunset flooded the sky. I would have to give the matter some serious thought.
TRAVEL DETAILS:
Where to stay:
Rural retreats:
Can Curreu, Carretera Sant Carles (http://www.cancurreu.com tel: 00 34 971 335280)
Can Marti, 07810 Sant Joan (tel: 00 34 971 333500/fax 333112)
Can Magdal, 07815 Sant Miquel (tel: 00 34 971 334977/fax 334968)
Can Planells, 07815 Sant Miquel (tel: 00 34 971 334924/fax 334115)
In town: La Ventana, Sa Carrossa 13 Dalt Vila Eivissa (tel: 00 34 971 390857)
Vast and brightly lit
We retired to our room at about 5pm and mulled over another irksome detail: the fact that you had to rent a key for the fridge, presumably to encourage you to spend more on the Chocomilk brandies in the bar.
But this disregarded the needs of parents who needed to keep milk cool. 'Slightly cheeky,' said Helen. It was a 10 euro (about £6.60) deposit and 2.50 euro (£1.65) a day, incidentally.
And it wasn't even cold which, as any expert will tell you, is the foremost purpose of a fridge. But, we reasoned, you only sleep in these rooms.
Supper was a bit of a hurdle. Everybody knows that in Spain you start to think about eating at 9pm and eventually settle down to a paella at midnight.
Indeed, the Spanish sit in their dining chairs for so long, I'm surprised more don't die of deep vein thrombosis.
By contrast, in the vast and brightly lit Presidente refectory, there was a frenetic scoffing window between 6.30pm and 8pm.
Co-ordinated by friendly waiters, it was a strictly in-and-out buffet affair, where to linger would have seemed suspicious.
In the hotel's favour, it had attempted to square the needs of hungry Brits with the suggestion of being in another country.
Spanish dishes such as Serrano ham sat alongside egg and chips. Fruit abounded, and there was even exotica such as chickpea and pepper salad - the kind of thing that would still be treated with distrust on certain Costas.
Not bad, but you simply didn't want to do it every night.
'Can we please go to that place with the cat again?' asked Matilda, who found her favourite restaurant early on.
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| | | | Buzz with a like-minded bunch
So what does Ministry offer its young clientele? According to Phil, 'a really nice buzz with a like-minded bunch. Stylish people in stylish venues serving proper Smirnoff, not some local vodka.'
Given that according to one report superclubs take £35,000 over the bar every weekend, I'd like a cherry on top too. You are also paying for the word Ministry.
'People know they're getting a respected brand,' said Rhiannon.
We went out to the clubs. Bahia's location is good, a cheap taxi ride away from clubs such as Pacha, Es Paradis and the legendary birthplace of 'chill-out culture', the Cafe Del Mar.
Pacha is a fun club, with candlelit corridors and different parties in nooks and crannies, although not for everyone.
Rhiannon told us about Pacha's terrace bar 'where a bottle of champagne is £250, where Helena Christiansen and the Sultan of Brunei drink and you expect to spend £1,000 a night'.
I put it to her that this was horrible. She put it to me that it wasn't.
The futuristic, experimental side of Bahia is wonderful. In the meantime, clubbers have to wait to see if Ministry delivers enough to justify the price.
If the right people arrive, you will definitely be bang in the middle of an 'it'. Whether it's the 'it' will be revealed on Friday.
Either way, you'll be able to go upstairs to bed. And as every clubber knows, that's worth a fortune.
Travel facts Clubber's Guide Holidays on 0800 0159 551. A guide, MisGuided Ibiza, has been published by Ministry of Sound and is available from bookshops at £7.99.
The interminable toasting machine
Days came and days went. Sometimes we didn't need the beach at all. Why, when we could stay in the Presidente and take part in its activities?
The big day-by-day timetable promised FUN! and delivered events such as 'Kwiz Speshell', 'It's a Superfamily Knockout' and the Pop Idol bash on Friday nights.
We got Bruno to sit in on Thursday morning, and left the lad perched on the yellow-shirted bosom of a Thomson rep.
With Bob the Builder pictures plastered on the walls and a number of staff, the nursery facility was pleasant and trustworthy. But Matilda was too shy to go to the 12-year-olds' club.
Nor would she go to the under-16s disco, where youths looked stern as they played pool and girls sat sullenly around the side.
If your child isn't a joiner-in, neither love nor money will cajole them into a kids' club. So Helen, Matilda and I sat around the pool watching water volleyball and listening to a soundtrack of 1980s pop hits interspersed with bad jokes.
The choice of music played right into the ambience of the resort's twenty and thirtysomething parent demographic: Spandau Ballet, Simple Minds, U2 (although once we did hear Agadoo).
Were we having fun yet? Well, yes. Despite a few cavils, it was very user-friendly. No cooking, no driving, no boring monuments . . . and, in our way, we joined in.
The communal moans around the interminable toasting machine at breakfast - 'Think I'll go for a shower!' - led into games of giant Jenga and outings to the super-safe playground, where we bonded with other parents about Portinatx's paucity of fresh milk and swimming nappies.
On the last evening we followed the siren lure of an oompah ballad to a rival hotel. This was an entirely German affair, with the guests sitting on sunbeds and reading German papers. These holiday ghettoes seemed an odd part of package holiday life.
Returning back to the Presidente, we watched Seven Steps To Venga, a tribute band. It was hilarious, like watching the early heats for Pop Idol.
And you knew that the next day there'd be another Pop Idol night, and the holiday machine would rumble on before the climate gave up the ghost until next year.
On our return, a relative asked what it was like. The children loved it, I said. It was fun and good value. But I couldn't quite shake off the nagging feeling that I had been trapped in a docusoap.
TRAVEL DETAILS:
Call Thomson Superfamily on 08702 413 157.
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| | Destination Guide : Ibiza |
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| | | Sunshine isle |  | Why go on holiday to Ibiza?
Ibiza is one of the Balearic Islands, off the east coast of Spain. Most people choose to visit for the brilliant weather, fine beaches, Spanish culture and, of course, the nightlife.
But despite its reputation, tourism hasn't completely taken over the island; you'll still find reminders of the past - Gothic cathedrals, Stone Age ruins, olive and orange groves and unspoilt fishing villages, especially if you go off-season.
How much does it cost?
Prices fluctuate a great deal on this popular island. As a guide, self-catering deals are from around £250 for a week, risings to £400 or more in summer. A week's half- board in a hotel in July is around £600.
Flights only are from £130 and it's relatively easy to find accommodation in hostels on arrival off-season (average price £30 per night for a basic double room), but advance booking is always advised in the height of summer.
When should I go?
Summer is silly season, when crowds of Europeans descend on Ibiza to enjoy the beaches, bars and clubs. At this time of year temperatures can reach 86F (30C).
So if you don't mind crowds or if you're there for the nightlife, then July and August are the times to go.
However, if you arrive in May-June and September-October you'll find the weather is still good and you won't have to deal with crowds of drunken holidaymakers.
Most hotels and other tourist-oriented businesses close down from November to April, but if you can find somewhere to stay, winter is a good time for relaxing and exploring the countryside, although the weather won't be fine enough for the beach.
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| | | Party till you drop |  | What should I do when I'm there?
Go clubbing. Ibiza is renowned for its nightlife and is the home of outrageous "superclubs" which stay open till dawn and where punters can dance naked, romp around in foam and enjoy bizarre stage acts.
Of course there are also lots of more run-of-the-mill clubs and bars and thanks to the diversity of the venues on offer, this island attracts a huge mix of hippies, gays, straights, fashion victims, nudists and package tourists.
What are the beaches like?
Beaches on the islands are beautiful, but many are spoilt by high-rise hotel developments. It is possible to find off-the-beaten-track beaches, especially off-season, but in the height of summer you won't be doing much solo swimming.
What if I want to soak up a bit of culture?
Near D'Alt Vila, the old walled town with its arched gateway, is the Museo de Arte Contemporaneo, which features changing exhibitions of contemporary art. Also in this area is the cathedral which dates from the 14th century.
Anywhere else I should see?
Sa Penya, the old port, is one of Ibiza's most interesting areas as there's always something going on, day and night. Crowds promenade along the harbour and narrow streets and it's a great place for hanging out and people-watching.
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| | | Warm welcome for kids | | Where's good for nightlife?
During the summer, Ibiza is a continuous party and the Sa Penya district is packed with bars which stay open till the early hours. If you're still standing you can go on to clubs which stay open till dawn and beyond - check out Pacha, Kiss and Space.
You might have to save up though, because the entrance charges are between £10-£25 and drinks don't come cheap either.
What's the food like?
Full English breakfasts and fish and chips are hard to avoid in the more touristy areas, but if you venture further afield you'll find delicious local food such as seafood, paella and tapas on offer.
What should I buy?
Sa Penya, in Ibiza, is crammed with dozens of funky clothes shops, and is also home to the hippy market where you can pick up anything from cheapo T-shirts to local arts and crafts.
What is there for children to do?
Spanish culture is child-orientated, so there is no problem taking children into bars, restaurants, etc (as long as they behave themselves!).
Some tour operators provide children's clubs in the bigger hotels where parents can deposit the kids and head off out for the day. Otherwise, there is an endless supply of beaches, parks and festivals in most towns where children can amuse themselves.
Tourist office
Spanish National Tourist Office, 22-23 Manchester Square, London W1M 5AP. Tel. 020 7486 8077. Brochure line: 09063 640630 (60p per minute).
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| | Fact File : Ibiza |
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| | | Ibiza | | Did you know?
It was hippies in the '60s who first saw the attraction of Ibiza as a holiday destination.
Language
Spanish.
Visas
No visas required for UK citizens.
Getting there
Direct flights to Ibiza from the UK; ferry from Ibiza city to Formentera.
Flying time from London
Around two hours 30 minutes
Getting around
Bus services link major towns and resorts. Hiring a car or bike is also a good way to see the island, so bring your driving licence.
Currency
Euro.
Costs
Bottle of beer from 80p, camera film £2.50, moderate meal with wine for two £10, litre of petrol 45p, short taxi ride £5. Costs will vary.
Weather
Summer temperatures 21-29C (68-84F); winter temperatures drop to 6-15C (43-58F).
Time difference
One hour ahead of the UK.
International dialling code from the UK
00 34 971.
Voltage
220V or sometimes 125V, so check before you plug anything in (sockets should be labelled). Plugs are two-pronged so you'll need an adapter for UK appliances.
Opening hours
Clubs and bars never seem to close. Local shops open 9am-1pm and 4.30pm-7.30pm, although bigger shops and general stores often stay open over lunch.
Health — before you go
No jabs necessary, but take an EHIC form (available from UK post offices) so you can claim free treatment if you are taken ill.
Health — when you are there
The main risks are sunburn and hangovers, so take the usual precautions. Drink bottled water to be on the safe side.
Warnings
Beware of the usual pickpockets and bag-snatchers that you find in any tourist area. Drug laws have been tightened up in the past decade and the only drug which is legal is cannabis in tiny amounts for personal use.
Emergency
National emergency number is 091. The British Embassy, Calle de Fernando el Santo 16, 28010 Madrid. Tel (00 34) 91 700 8200. Also at Plaza Mayor 3D, 07002 Palma de Majorca. Tel (00 34) 971 71 24.
Customs
Evenings out start later and end later than in Britain.
Pets
Spain is part of the Pet Travel Scheme so you can take a pet if it has all the correct paperwork. This can take some time to arrange — check with your vet for details.
Tipping
Service charges are included in restaurants, so tipping is a personal choice: 5% is average.
Tourist office
Spanish National Tourist Office, 22-23 Manchester Square, London W1M 5AP. Tel 020 7486 8077. Brochure line: 09063 640630 (60p per minute).
Did you know?
Hippies in the '60s first saw the attraction of Ibiza as a holiday destination.
Language
Spanish
Visas
No visas required for UK citizens.
Getting there
Direct flights to Ibiza from the UK; ferry from Ibiza city to Formentera.
Flying time from London
Around two hours 30 minutes
Getting around
Bus services link major towns and resorts. Hiring a car or bike is also a good way to see the island, so bring your driving licence.
Currency
Euro
Costs
Bottle of beer from £1.00, camera film £2.50, moderate meal with wine for two £15, litre of petrol 60p, short taxi ride £2 Costs will vary.
Weather
Summer temperatures 21-29C (68-84F); winter temperatures drop to 6-15C (43-58F).
Time difference
One hour ahead of GMT in winter, two hours ahead in summer.
International dialling code from the UK
00 34 971
Voltage
220V or sometimes 125V, so check before you plug anything in (sockets should be labelled). Plugs are 2-pronged so you'll need an adapter for UK appliances.
Opening hours
Clubs and bars never seem to close. Local shops open 9am-1pm and 4.30pm-7.30pm, although bigger shops and general stores often stay open over lunch.
Health - Before you go
No jabs necessary, but take an EHIC form (available from UK post offices) so you can claim free treatment if you are taken ill.
Health - When you are there
The main risks are sunburn and hangovers, so take the usual precautions. Drink bottled water to be on the safe side.
Warnings
Beware of the usual pickpockets and bag-snatchers that you find in any tourist area. Drug laws have been tightened up in the past decade and the only drug which is legal is cannabis in tiny amounts for personal use.
Emergency
National emergency number is 091. The British Embassy, Calle de Fernando el Santo 16, 28010 Madrid. Tel: (00 34) 91 700 8200. Also at Plaza Mayor 3D, 07002 Palma de Majorca. Tel: (00 34) 971 71 24.
Customs
Evenings out start later and end later than in Britain.
Pets
Spain is part of the Pet Travel Scheme so you can take a pet if it has all the correct paperwork. This can take some time to arrange - check with your vet for details.
Tipping
Service charges are included in restaurants, so tipping is a personal choice: 5% is average.
Tourist office
Spanish National Tourist Office, 22-23 Manchester Square, London W1M 5AP. Tel: 020 7486 8077. Brochure line: 09063 640630 (60p per minute).
Did you know?
Hippies in the '60s first saw the attraction of Ibiza as a holiday destination.
Language
Spanish.
Visas
No visas required for UK citizens.
Getting there
Direct flights to Ibiza from the UK; ferry from Ibiza city to Formentera.
Flying time from London
Around two hours 30 minutes.
Getting around
Bus services link major towns and resorts. Hiring a car or bike is also a good way to see the island, so bring your driving licence.
Currency
Euro.
Costs
Prices vary greatly, but as a rough guide: bottle of beer £1, a roll of 24-exposure film £2.50, meal for two with wine £9, a litre of petrol 45p, short taxi ride £5.50.
Weather
Summer temperatures 21-29C (68-84F); winter temperatures drop to 6-15C (43-58F).
Time difference
One hour ahead of the UK.
International dialling code from the UK
00 34 971.
Voltage
220V or sometimes 125V, so check before you plug anything in (sockets should be labelled). Plugs are 2-pronged so you'll need an adapter for UK appliances.
Opening hours
Clubs and bars never seem to close. Local shops open 9am-1pm and 4.30pm-7.30pm, although bigger shops and general stores often stay open over lunch.
Health — before you go
No jabs necessary, but take an EHIC form (available from UK post offices) so you can claim free treatment if you are taken ill.
Health — when you are there
The main risks are sunburn and hangovers, so take the usual precautions. Drink bottled water to be on the safe side.
Warnings
Beware of the usual pickpockets and bag-snatchers you find in any tourist area. Drug laws have been tightened up in the past decade and the only drug which is legal is cannabis in tiny amounts for personal use.
Emergency
National emergency number is 091. The British Embassy, Calle de Fernando el Santo 16, 28010 Madrid. Tel (00 34) 91 700 8200. Also at Plaza Mayor 3D, 07002 Palma de Majorca. Tel (00 34) 971 71 24.
Customs
Evenings out start later and end later than in Britain.
Pets
Spain is part of the Pet Travel Scheme so you can take a pet if it has all the correct paperwork. This can take some time to arrange — check with your vet for details.
Tipping
Service charges are included in restaurants, so tipping is a personal choice: 5% is average.
Tourist office
Spanish National Tourist Office, 22-23 Manchester Square, London W1M 5AP. Tel 020 7486 8077. Brochure line: 09063 640630 (60p per minute).
Did you know?
It was hippies in the '60s who first saw the attraction of Ibiza as a holiday destination.
Language
Spanish.
Visas
No visas required for UK citizens.
Getting there
Direct flights to Ibiza from the UK; ferry from Ibiza city to Formentera.
Flying time from London
Around two hours 30 minutes.
Getting around
Bus services link major towns and resorts. Hiring a car or bike is also a good way to see the island, so bring your driving licence.
Currency
Euro.
Costs
As a rough guide: litre of petrol 45p; bottle of beer 75p; moderate restaurant meal for two with wine £9; roll of film £2.50; short taxi ride £5.50.
Weather
Summer temperatures 21-29C (68-84F); winter temperatures drop to 6-15C (43-58F).
Time difference
One hour ahead of the UK.
International dialling code from the UK
00 34 971.
Voltage
220V or sometimes 125V, so check before you plug anything in (sockets should be labelled). Plugs are 2-pronged so you'll need an adaptor for UK appliances.
Opening hours
Clubs and bars never seem to close. Local shops open 9am-1pm and 4.30pm-7.30pm, although bigger shops and general stores often stay open over lunch.
Health — before you go
No jabs necessary, but take an EHIC form (available from UK post offices) so you can claim free treatment if you are taken ill.
Health — when you are there
The main risks are sunburn and hangovers, so take the usual precautions. Drink bottled water to be on the safe side.
Warnings
Beware of the usual pickpockets and bag-snatchers that you find in any tourist area. Drug laws have been tightened up in the past decade and the only drug which is legal is cannabis in tiny amounts for personal use.
Emergency
National emergency number is 091. The British Embassy, Calle de Fernando el Santo 16, 28010 Madrid. Tel (00 34) 91 700 8200. Also at Plaza Mayor 3D, 07002 Palma de Majorca. Tel (00 34) 971 71 24.
Customs
Evenings out start later and end later than in Britain.
Pets
Spain is part of the Pet Travel Scheme so you can take a pet if it has all the correct paperwork. This can take some time to arrange — check with your vet for details.
Tipping
Service charges are included in restaurants, so tipping is a personal choice: 5% is average.
Tourist office
Spanish National Tourist Office, 22-23 Manchester Square, London W1M 5AP. Tel 020 7486 8077. Brochure line: 09063 640630 (60p per minute).
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