Travel Guides: All Countries / Central America / Mexico / Puerto Vallarta
 |  | Travel Reviews : Puerto Vallarta |
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| | | | On the trail of Burton and Taylor
Kamikaze superstar Richard Burton created a disgraceful scandal in 1964 on Mexico's west coast (for younger readers, Burton was a kind of prototype Russell Crowe, only interesting).
Audiences started booking Latin American holidays in droves, hoping to be outraged over a seven to 14-day period.
Burton was filming a racy adaptation of Tennessee Williams's The Night Of The Iguana, directed by fellow hellraiser-John Huston.
The movie is set to a backdrop of Mexican peasant life, representing 'a lost world of innocence', Tennessee Williams never having washed non-fast coloureds on a stone.
Burton plays an alcoholic, teenage-girl-snogging priest who can't understand why he's been defrocked, and Ava Gardner is a hotelier who offers her guests marijuana and boasts of group rumpo with 'the beach boys', presumably the inspiration for I Get Around.
Of course nowadays this wouldn't make a Grange Hill Christmas special, but it got people going in 1964.
And once filming stopped, Welsh wildman Burton went one better, abandoning Mrs Burton to live openly in sin with Eddie Fisher's wife, Elizabeth Taylor, a real star who spurned detox for retox.
The swingers bought a house and the resorts of Puerto Vallarta and Mismaloya became tourism's Sodom and its lively beach-club Gomorrah.
Even after Burton moved out of their Mexican love nest, Taylor never stopped loving him, gaining seven stone to honour his death.
But nearly 40 years later, would I find the Burton/Taylor spirit alive in the Bahia? And how on earth could I recreate it, determined as I was to follow a no-alcohol, 1,000-calorie a day diet?
Puerto Vallarta
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| | | | Latin American Skegness
Clanking by Jeep into Puerto Vallarta, I was worried. John Huston made the resort look so grim that Burton's 80 per cent proof Reverend hijacks the bus he's tour-guiding and drives straight out of town.
I followed his example because while the old town on the hill was probably charming - I didn't look, they usually are - it was stuck above a Latin American Skegness with tacos instead of doner kebabs.
When John Huston found it, Puerto Vallarta had 12,500 residents and a donkey. When I found it, the sexual revolution had brought 350,000 and a Hooters, an American theme restaurant where the theme is waitresses with enormous breasts - presumably to take your eyes off the food.
There's good shopping, however, if you've run out of dried iguanas back home and Stevie Nicks has asked you to pick up a hundredweight of frilly gipsy dresses.
Burton parked the bus where mountains end on the Bay of Banderas, meaning spectacular views, rainforest flowers and, these days, bare-knuckle fights between real-estate agents.
'This is Mismaloya, garden spot of the west coast, in all of Mexico, there is nothing to equal it,' Burton breathed, taking the paint off the bus. He may still be right; the hotels aren't as bijoux as Ava's now, but the beach remains a perfect 800ft croissant.
That night I checked into the salubrious Camino Real complex, pleased to see it had a gym to keep the worst excesses of the Burton/Taylor era at bay.
However, I hadn't planned on the munificence of the manager, who left a complimentary bottle of champagne chilling under a napkin, the bastard. I paced the room furiously for 10 minutes before ripping back the napkin - only to find it was Asti Spumanti. Burton would have flushed it down the privy.
At dawn, full of boiled egg white and cabbage, I set out to find Ava's hideaway. Rumour had it John Huston's set remains much as he left it, if you can only find it.
In the movie, the jungle is thick, and the path that Burton takes narrow and steep. Hours later I stumbled on a track leading to an elegant hacienda with a familiar tier of sea-view terraces. I deduced this could have been the set of The Night of the Iguana.
(Brilliant detective work given that my only clues were that the building was called The Set of The Night of the Iguana and full of photos of Richard Burton.)
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| | | | Five Mexican toffee pastries
I suspected the neighbouring restaurant, John Huston's, may have had something to do with the film, but more likely crazy coincidence. Ava's is also a restaurant now where pelicans fly past.
I had lunch exactly where Richard Burton's priest got tanked on opium tea. I did my best to recreate Tennessee Williams's epic debate about the meaning of life, in my case an epic debate about whether a chicken breast weighed three ounces or four. That's cultural advancement.
I came back exhausted from aestheticism to find the manager had left five Mexican toffee pastries on my bedside table.
So he wanted to play hardball. How Liz ever weighed less than 14 stone living here I'll never know; Mexicans use toffee as Marmite and chocolate as salt.
She must have woken each morning in Puerto Vallarta, looked in the fridge, looked at her thighs and thought: 'Stuff it, I'll stay inside for 30 years until they invent liposuction'.
Next day the Camino Real thoughtlessly laid out a breakfast banquet of huevos rancheros, cakes and an omelette station - like a real station but with less emphasis on trains and more on eggs.
This was luxury, but I suspected Tennessee Williams's 'lost world of innocence' didn't feature an omelette station, so I left the posh resorts behind to hunt for unspoilt Mexico.
Ten minutes' bracing drive down the coast road was Boca de Tomatlan, where water taxis leave for the Sixties beach hang-out Yelapa.
Twenty minutes later I was deposited most un-Taylor-like in the sand of a horseshoe bay - while Ava Gardner waterskied to the set, Liz, ever the sensible one, got three men to carry her because she saw no reason to get her feet wet.
Yelapa is a simple beach with a few Mexican cafes and palapas (traditional huts). Herons hauled their great legs over the water. Black bees too heavy to buzz barely moved when I passed.
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| | | | A mountain of fried rice
The bees are unlikely to be shifted as Yelapa is only accessible by speedboat; international hotels would have to arrive one trouser press at a time.
Over lunch of a boiled potato - an order that so upset the restaurateur she hid it under a mountain of fried rice - I got talking to an insalubrious American.
'The Mexican rainforest is used as a movie location because the wages are cheap and it looks like Vietnam,' he said.
He was right; Schwarzenegger was here filming Predator, as was Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris and anyone else whose career has involved being chased through jungle on a budget.
'And if you find yourself going to jail in America for drug running,' the American added, 'try to get federal, not state, prison. State prison sucks.' I told him I'd remember.
Wannabe Lizzes-and-Dicks have traditional Mexican wedding ceremonies here and honeymoon in the Lagunita hotel, whose intensely romantic palapas overlook the Pacific.
It's a good place for a honeymoon, but an even better place for an affair: they'd have to come by boat to find you, so you'd have plenty of time to build a wardrobe to hide in.
The Lagunita's manager Luke remembered the heyday. 'We had Malcolm McDowell, Mario Van Peebles, Bob Dylan and even Barbara Streisand and one actor I chased off my 13-year-old niece. People like it here because it's simple - we only got electricity three months ago.'
I asked the sleepy-eyed Mexican concierge Clemente if Richard Burton-had ever made it to Yelapa. Clemente sprang into life, his eyes admitting daylight for the first time in months.
'They came here every fortnight by canoe - Liz and Richard and Ava and John Huston, they slept in hammocks. 'Richard Burton hang his hammock between these two trees and sleep,' he said, waving excitedly at a palm. 'Liz was very kind, "how are you, Clemente", very nice body.' His eyes closed again on a distant reverie.
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| | | | Exotic house of secrets
Eight Diet Cokes later I arrived at the Camino Real raddled on aspartame to find the manager had left five different kinds of fudge on my bedside table. Two could play that game. I threw them in a hedge.
On my last morning, I braved Puerto Vallarta to look for Casa Kimberley, Mexico's first iniquity den.
Dick bought it for Liz as a 32nd birthday present and built another house over the road because he fancied a swimming pool.
Ostentatious, maybe, but if you usually come home with the Krupps diamond after a row, you can't give the wife an I Love The Sixties CD.
Sure enough the old town, away from Hooters, was all red tiled roofs and flowers. I drove through the narrow hillside streets, but couldn't find Casa Kimberley until I looked up to see a miniature copy of Venice's Bridge of Sighs, where the couple courted during the filming of Cleopatra.
Taylor sold Casa Kimberley in 1991 to Toy Holstein and her daughter Kathleen, who preserved it as a B&B.
You can even marry in this exotic house of secrets. 'Paparazzi rented the overlooking apartment to photograph them and their friends, who happened to be living in sin too,' said Kathleen.
'Spencer Tracy came with Katharine Hepburn, not Mrs Tracy, and Orson Welles brought Dolores Del Rio instead of Rita Hayworth. So Richard had a secret escape route built.'
The first thing I saw was a tiled day bed, built incongruously in the middle of the lounge.
'Richard had it put in - sometimes he had too much to drink and couldn't make the bedroom,' Kathleen explained. 'That's also why the house has 12 bathrooms.'
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| | | | Marie Celeste of love
Yesterday's parties still echo. Burton played Peter O'Toole at cards here. Liz invented being suntanned on the terrace.
'Richard's still here - we hear him thumping in the night, opening and closing doors,' said Kathleen, smiling.
So the spirit of free love is still alive on a hillside below the Mexican rainforest, although it is probably just looking for the toilet.
The most extraordinary thing about Casa Kimberley is that it remains just as the couple left it, the Marie Celeste of love. Liz's crossword puzzle lies half-done, stuck at 'Greek mythological creature, - m...'.
Hanging by the pool is the risque swimsuit she wore in Hammersmith Is Out to show off the decollete which, Burton claimed, would topple empires.
Said Kathleen: 'It shocked us that she left such private things here, like photos of her with her babies, a letter Richard had written to Liz's little girl Liza Todd telling her he was sorry she would have to go through their divorce, but she would always be his little girl.
'We even found Richard's soft porn paperbacks - Rosie The Riveter, that kind of thing.
'Her latest husband Larry Fortensky was jealous of Richard and maybe asked her to sell in a hurry. But I think it was more than that - after Richard died she just couldn't bear to set foot in here again.'
I had to agree. They loved each other so much they had two marriages, although this may be because they forgot the first one.
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| | | | Gaga for love
For evidence of this insane passion, Toy showed me a photo of Liz and Dick standing where I was standing, on the balcony overlooking the old town.
They gaze at each other with absolute adoration as he teaches her Welsh songs from his childhood - so gaga for love they sang nursery rhymes at each other.
Awed, I walked out into the street where less than 40 years ago, nuns had picketed Liz and Dick for living in sin. Dick donated $50,000 to the church and the pickets stopped. If he'd bunged them half a million they might have condoned contraception.
Now the streets of the old town are quiet. In the end, scandal is forgotten but love never dies, it just puts on weight and hangs out with Michael Jackson.
But next time I come to Puerto Vallarta I will cut loose and live as the Liz Taylor Mk II, the six-seater. It would be more in the Mexican spirit.
TRAVEL DETAILS:
American Airlines http://www.aa.com (08457 789789) has flights to Puerto Vallarta. Trips Worldwide http://www.tripsworldwide.co.uk (tel: 0117 311 4400) has stays at the Camino Real. You can stay at Casa Kimberley (tel: 00 52 322 222 1336.
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| | Destination Guide : Puerto Vallarta |
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| | | Picturesque coastal city |  | Why go to Puerto Vallarta?
Because it's one of Mexico's most picturesque coastal cities, situated about halfway down Mexico's west coast near vibrant second city Guadalajara.
There's something here to please everyone - white sandy beaches, watersports, shopping, art galleries, restaurants and nightlife.
How much does it cost?
All prices vary with the seasons and style of accommodation but in general, seven-day all-inclusive packages can be had for around £800 in July. Flights-only cost around £550 in July and Vallarta has a good selection of cheap accommodation, but prices are higher during the busy season between December and April.
Budget rooms can be found for as little as £7.50 (double) and mid-range accommodation for £25.
When should I go?
The hottest month is May, with temperatures at 32C (90F), while the coldest is December at 24C (75F). It rains very rarely.
The busiest time is Semana Santa (Easter) when hotels fill up and hundreds of other visitors camp out on the beach and party.
This is a good time to go if you are prepared to camp.
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| | | Set for romance | | What should I do when I'm there?
Go to the beach. There are two in the centre of Vallarta, but much better ones can be found outside the city. Try Boca de Tomatian, four kilometres past Mismaloya, or Playa de las Animas - which is said to be the most beautiful beach on the bay.
Nearby Quimixto has a waterfall which can be reached by a half-hour hike or by pony which you can hire on the beach. Yelapa is the most popular cruise destination and is charming but busy.
What if I'm feeling energetic?
Have a go at some watersports. Snorkelling, scuba diving, waterskiing, jet skiing, windsurfing, sailing, parasailing, riding the 'banana' and just plain swimming are popular in Vallarta. Head for Los Arcos and Islas Marietas for the best spots.
Anything else I should know about?
Director John Huston put Puerto Vallarta on the map when he chose to shoot his film version of The Night Of The Iguana here in the 1960s.
Film buffs will be happy to learn that they can still go and visit the set of the film where romance blossomed between Liz Taylor and Richard Burton at Mismaloya, about 12 kilometres south of the city.
The buildings used in the film are on the south side of the cove.
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| | | Great Mexican handicrafts | | Where's good for nightlife?
Most of the nightlife in Puerto Vallarta is along the Malecon, where you can chose from romantic open-air restaurants and bars to riotous revelry in the many clubs and discos such as the Zoo and Carlos O'Brien's.
On the south side of the river, check out Si Senor on Rudolfo Gomez for live rock, blues and soul and Cuiza on Isla Cuale for live jazz. Traditional Mexican mariachi nights are held at Mr Tequila's Grill and the Mariachi House on the Malecon every night.
What's the food like?
Most Mexican meals include one or more of the national staples: tortilla, frijoles and chiles. Tortillas are thin, round patties of pressed corn or wheat flour dough, cooked on griddles and usually wrapped around or served under other food.
Frijoles are beans eaten boiled, fried or re-fried in soup or on tortillas and chiles vary in spiciness. Other popular snacks are burritos, chilaquiles, guacamole and tacos.
Fruit and vegetables are plentiful and a fantastic array of fresh juices is available.
What should I buy?
Shops and boutiques in Puerto Vallarta sell just about every type of handicraft made in Mexico, but it is quite an expensive place to shop. Try Mercado Municipal for anything from silver and sandals to wall-hangings and blown glass.
The market has more than 150 shops and stalls and is open all day Monday to Saturday and Sunday mornings. Many other shops line the Agustin Rodriguez, opposite the market.
What is there for children to do?
As well as the beaches, Vallarta has several cinemas which often show films in English.
Tourist office
Mexico Tourist Board, Wakefield House, 41 Trinity Square, London, EC3N 4DJ. Brochure line: 00800 11112266 (freephone) or for information, call: 020 7488 9392.
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| | Fact File : Puerto Vallarta |
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| | | Puerto Vallarta | | Did you know?
Puerto Vallarta didn't exist until 1851.
Language
Spanish
Visas
No visa required but a Mexican government tourist card (tarjeta de turista) is necessary. Available from Mexican immigration points at official border crossings, at international airports and ports, it will usually be validated for 30 days, although a stay of up to 180 days is generally permitted if requested.
Getting there
Chartered flights direct from the UK to Puerto Vallarta's airport. Scheduled airlines go to Mexico City, where you have to change.
Getting around
The local buses are regular and cheap, taxis are plentiful and there is a water taxi which leaves twice a day from Los Muertos Pier, heading south around the bay to three pick-up points.
Currency
Nuevo (new) peso
Costs
Bottle of beer £1; roll of film £4; moderate meal £5-£10 per person; litre of petrol 30p; four-mile taxi ride £7. Prices may be higher than in other parts of Mexico.
Weather
Temperatures average 55-80F(13-27C) in May and June, and 42-68F(6-20C) in December and January. Rainfall is minimal - the wettest month is September with 50mm.
Time difference
Six hours behind GMT
International dialling code from the UK
00 52 322
Voltage
110V, 60Hz AC. Mexico has three different types of electrical outlet, so you'll need transformers and plug adaptors for European appliances.
Opening hours
With midday heat, siesta is important. Most shops and businesses are open Monday to Saturday 9am-2pm, shut for siesta, then reopen from 4-7pm. On Sunday nearly all archaelogical sites and museums are free; many are closed on Mondays.
Health - Before you go
Vaccinations are not required but make sure you're up to date on tetanus and polio shots, and consider jabs for hepatitis A and typhoid. Malaria protection is advised for travel in certain regions; visit your doctor at least two months before travel. Take out travel insurance to cover medical costs.
Emergency
SECTUR tourist office Tel 5 250 01230; air ambulance Tel.5 294 4286 (will cost you thousands of pounds without insurance).
Customs
Try to speak Spanish, however little or inept, to people you meet, and you will gain much respect.
Pets
Animals will be subject to six months' quarantine on return to the UK.
Tipping
10% is sufficient. Taxi drivers don't accept tips, but petrol station attendants do.
Tourist office
Mexico Tourist Board, Wakefield House, 41 Trinity Square, London, EC3N 4DJ. Brochure line: 00800 11112266 (freephone) or for information, call: 020 7488 9392.
Health - when you're there
There is no national 999 equivalent; in the event of an emergency, contact the Ministry of Tourism's 24-hour tourist hotline, Tel: 01-800-903-9200. Local clinics or Red Cross facilities are usually fine for minor treatment but for serious disease or injury you may want a private hospital or even, in extreme cases, fly out to the US. Five-star hotels, the tourist hotline or the British Consulate can recommend a doctor or hospital.
Flight time from London
12-13 hours
Warning
Beware pickpockets on the buses. Women should never hitchhike alone as Mexico can be (increasingly) a dangerous country.
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| | Available rental properties in Puerto Vallarta |
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